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I, Too, Don’t Know What I’m Doing With My Career

I, Too, Don’t Know What I’m Doing With My Career

“Why Your Moral Compass Is More Important Than Your Career Path”

I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that most folks don’t have a long term career plan for themselves.

Today, I’m here to tell you, that’s okay.

The truth is, your perfect job simply might not yet exist. Maybe the career you want is being built by you, instead of being presented to you. 

If that’s true (and go with me here, let’s assume it’s true), that doesn’t make your passion and lived experience any less valuable. In fact, the opposite becomes true — that by following your moral compass through a territory where maps don’t exist, you’re more accurately defined as a trailblazer, and not merely an astray professional.

But, for those trailblazers, it can be really, really hard to understand at the time that you’re on any path at all.

These folks might have had some professional wins, or jobs they’ve loved, or a niche they’ve developed for themselves, or a network of people who associate them with a particular skillset or industry. Perhaps as they’ve gotten older, and the more invested they’ve become in that  affiliation, the more related professional opportunities have accordingly presented themselves.

But along the way, they might be asking:

“Is this my true potential?”

“Am I in my dream career?”

“Is this the line of work I envision doing for the rest of my life?”

“Did I ever have a clear vision for my life? Or is it merely where I found myself after years of working?”

“If I could start over and truly dedicate myself to one professional path — do I even know what that would be?”

I personally find this to be a depressing line of questioning. But, I’ve also found that, the more open I am about my own perpetual career soul-searching, the more I find others experiencing  similar professional-as-existential-predicaments. During deeply private and vulnerable conversations I have with myself, or perhaps with a trusted friend or therapist, I observe that these feelings lay, “behind the veil,” most of the time, because for today’s strong professionals there seemingly isn’t room for anything less than supreme confidence — not without fear of looking professionally aimless, anyways.

When I first started (what has become) my career, the idea of being a professional environmentalist didn’t seem obvious to me. This field was much more limited, and I didn’t know how my assortment of skills and interests would fit into a particular role. Fortunately, in the past decade, this market has exponentially grown, creating more professional opportunities for creative and environmental leadership, and voices like mine.

As I enter the middle of my 30’s, the above situation is roughly where I’ve found myself. I’m both ambitious and accomplished — yet also feeling like I’m perpetually professionally wandering. 

Looking back, this phenomenon has been an important throughline in my professional life.

I graduated high school early, then moved to California on my own and started college at 17, yet it took me 7 years to finally get my degree. I considered majors ranging from journalism, to filmmaking, to music, to nutrition, to geography, and finally I proudly graduated from UCLA with a BA in Cultural Anthropology and a minor in Environmental Systems and Societies. Then, with my diploma in hand, I stepped immediately into an economy still reeling from the wake of the Great Recession, and like millions of others, I struggled to find consistent work in my field.

Who knew — turns out a BA in Anthropology doesn’t perfectly set you up for consistent, recession-proof employment. 

Sure, on a project basis, I was doing fine. I worked with prolific environmental artist Spectral Q, and travelled around the world organizing large scale installations and events, well before I graduated from UCLA. And sure, this work received international acclaim, so I felt confident that I was making a meaningful impact working with incredible talent.

But in between projects, I quickly spiraled into ennui, and constantly asked myself, in my quiet moments, “What am I doing with my career? Where is this all leading me? What’s my plan?”

In trying to answer that question, I worked with farmers, joined the Conscious Goods Alliance national tour, led environmental outreach and influencer campaigns, and was employed by everyone from an archeologist to a global consulting firm. I met the man who later became my husband while I was campaign manager for a U.S. Senate candidate. During that time, I was also a recording artist, a neighborhood council member, board member, and even won some awards. Somewhere in there I launched a social good company.

But have those things added up to, “a career?”

I’ve definitely never had a roadmap, so I’ve typically not known how one step would lead to the next. Instead, I’ve learned to accept my constant internal questioning of myself as part of my reality. It always has been, after all.

Does this mean I’m professionally lost, or hopeless? I vehemently think not. And yet, in my professional life I’ve not only felt a need to explain myself over and over, but also to have a concrete answer to the inevitable question, “So what do you do?”

It’s always been easier for me to hedge and answer something like, “Well, this is what I’m doing right now…” while explaining whatever was my current project at the time. While I would be telling the truth, I’d also leave out how being confronted with this question led to feeling significant anxiety.

In the same way that it’s not glamorous to admit that you experience loneliness, there’s often a stigma around the experience of not having a master plan for your career.

Today I’m telling you: that stigma is unhealthy to everyone of us out there doing epic work even while we’re not knowing everything that lay ahead.   

Having a five or ten year plan for your life is basically impossible for most people. I used to think it was a phenomenon only experienced by younger professionals — and especially of creatives — but now I see that this struggle permeating through most ages and professions.

It’s not only okay to not have a master plan, but with all the instability in this world, it’s also totally reasonable

Now, in our era of pandemic culture, fluctuating economies, massive debts, social injustices, and climate change, it’s completely understandable that humans are having trouble predicting long term systems, and accordingly having trouble embarking upon long term careers. And, I’ve come to the conclusion that planning a long term career isn’t necessary, either. You can be very successful, while taking an unorthodox and fluid approach to your professional journey because the career you want is being built by you, instead of being presented to you.

It’s infinitely more important to have a moral compass to guide you along your windy road. I’m referring to a set of principles, values, and issues that compel you, which spark  meaning in your life.

For most of us, this evolves as we grow. Because industries and issues are ultimately always intersectional, the skillsets from one seemingly-unrelated role can become instrumental for succeeding in others.

For example, if I hadn’t learned project management from working with the artist Spectral Q, I wouldn’t have had the necessary skills to lead a US Senate campaign.

Even outside of skills, and on a purely philosophical level, my time on the campaign then taught me to appreciate the causation between fossil fuel companies donating to political campaigns, and those same politicians in turn backing a Big Oil agenda — making campaign finance reform a top issue for me.

The truth is, because your perfect job might not actually exist yet, “learning on the job,” might involve many, many jobs.

Amidst all this uncertainty, one’s moral compass must serve as their north star. It can ensure that you have the feeling of consistency of staying true to your values, even if you’re still exploring your professional trajectory. By doing this, you’re not dependent on a job, or a boss, or a company to feel a sense of meaning and passion in your life’s work, whatever it may be. Instead, your sense of meaning can inform what are your best career moves.

I’ve spent a long time cobbling together my own version of this. I took on roles that taught me skillsets which I could then apply to my larger passion of environmental advocacy. Learning how to produce events, manage campaigns, speak publicly, facilitate dialogues — all these learned skills came from different professional roles. Over the span of my career, I’ve largely applied them in service to our people and planet, which is my moral compass. Even during my stint at the management consulting firm, which had nothing to do with the environment, I knew that if I could learn how to navigate executives and corporate settings, effectively run meetings and have strong digital competency, I could bring this skillset back into the environmental space and use my newfound powers for good.

So the next time you’re being hard on yourself for not having a stronger direction — give yourself a break.

You’re planting a tree whose shade you’re not yet under.

Focus on what really matters to you — what you want to see more of in the world, what you actually enjoy doing — and know that the path you’re on is likely leading you in the right direction already.

Compasses point north, after all. When you know nothing else, you can still know, “that’s north.” 

The more we’re in tune with our authentic and passionate selves, the more professionally empowered we can become to take on each phase of our lives with strength and vitality, and to bring about goodness in the world.

I, Too, Don’t Know What I’m Doing With My Career

“Why Your Moral Compass Is More Important Than Your Career Path” I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that most folks don’t have a long term career plan for themselves. Today, I’m here to tell you, that’s okay. The truth is, your perfect job simply might not yet exist. Maybe the career you want is being built by you, instead […]
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In 2006, the South Central Farm (SCF) was a flourishing oasis in the heart of Los Angeles until bulldozers razed the land, displacing hundreds of farmers and leaving a scar for the local people and the entire city. A decade later, in June of 2016, farmers and supporters formed the South Central Farm Restoration Committee […]
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South Central Farm Restoration Committee Rallies to #BuyBackTheFarm

South Central Farm Restoration Committee Rallies to #BuyBackTheFarm

In 2006, the South Central Farm (SCF) was a flourishing oasis in the heart of Los Angeles until bulldozers razed the land, displacing hundreds of farmers and leaving a scar for the local people and the entire city.

A decade later, in June of 2016, farmers and supporters formed the South Central Farm Restoration Committee with the intention to #BuyBackTheFarm. Our goal is to secure the farm and protect one of the last and largest remaining undeveloped parcels of land in metropolitan Los Angeles. Working to secure a land trust, the farm and associated regional food hub would be a permanent jewel for the city of LA’s sustainability endeavors, promoting environmental justice and food sovereignty.

In South Central LA, this 14-acre life-giving haven flourished from 1992 to 2006. Serving 350 families who represented the diversity of the neighborhood, the South Central Farm was the largest of its kind in the United States and provided a dazzling array of locally grown fruits and vegetables. This verdant expanse of land in the midst of an underserved part of the city was a sentinel that broadcast the values of community food sovereignty far and wide.

“The Farm served as a hub for wellness and engagement where the community grew its own healthy food and created a safe green space,” notes Rosa Romero, a longtime SCF supporter and current Co-President of the nonprofit, SCF Health and Education Fund.

“The Farm thrived for over 14 years so we know first hand the many benefits of this farm — beyond providing access to healthy food, it helped reduce crime, and allowed for our culture to pass down knowledge from generation to generation,” reflects Alberto Tlatoa, an original South Central Farmer and current SCF Cooperative member.

Shortly after the 1992 LA riots, the South Central Farm community organized when LA Mayor Tom Bradley gave them the opportunity to transform the once barren, trash-ridden block into a place of pride where many in the local community voluntarily opted out of taking food stamps, growing their own organic produce instead. The story of their efforts to sustain a viable farm under adverse conditions is depicted eloquently in the film South Central Farm: Oasis in a Concrete Desert by Sheila Laffey, as well as featured in the Oscar-nominated film The Garden by Scott Hamilton Kennedy.

Located alongside the LA Metro Blue Line, adjacent to both an industrial, commercial landscape, as well as to a residential area, this urban oasis, unfortunately, became the victim of the city’s bureaucratic neglect and dubious practices. Unquestionably successful, the farm’s future was not secure. For years it was mired in legal battles that eventually resulted in displacing the farmers.

“Facing eviction by the developer, and with the local LA Council member opposing the farmers and the farm, thousands supported a campaign to save the farm, holding a round-the-clock encampment that held off eviction for eight months,” recalls Mike Feinstein, former mayor of Santa Monica.

In solidarity with the South Central Farmers, a number of celebrities gravitated to support the effort to save the farm. Ultimately, the protests organized by community leaders and residents and joined and supported by activist-celebrities such as Joan Baez, Darryl Hannah, Martin Sheen and Willie Nelson, among others, failed to impede the LA County Sheriff’s bulldozers, power saws and blow torches. By destroying this #JewelofLA, they deprived the farmers of their crops and labor, as well as their important resources for food, herbal medicine and cultural practices.

In a show of true resiliency, the South Central Farmers formed a cooperative and continued to farm “in exile,” first in Fresno, then in Buttonwillow and now in Lake Hughes. They continue their mission to bring organic, seasonal produce at affordable prices to underserved areas of Los Angeles. They sell at many farmers markets throughout the city; run a community supported agriculture program throughout LA County; and donate organic produce to food banks, schools and community organizations.

Today the land is owned by the PIMA Alameda Partners, LLC, which is comprised of the following companies: PoetryImpact Mfg.Miss Me and Active Basic USA. Working with CEG Construction and REA Architects, they currently plan to develop the parcel into a retail manufacturing and warehouse facility. PIMA Alameda Partners have applied to the City of Los Angeles for approval of their proposed project. The City’s Planning and Land Use Management Committee has granted approval but the South Central Farmers are appealing this based on what they believe to be an inadequate EIR and insufficient responses to residents’ concerns.

Paralleling the appeal process, the Restoration Committee members and supporters have extended numerous pleas to PIMA to consider selling the parcel back so that the farm could be restored, along with establishing an associated regional food hub, and be part of the solution for a greener, more equitable Los Angeles. While PIMA admirably promotes “Made in LA” labels, they could choose from other available warehouse/factory spaces in the LA metro area to pursue their operations. By selling this land back for restoration purposes, they could create a win-win for the greater greening of Los Angeles, preserving this rare 14-acre open space for future generations.

A restored farm with a regional food hub has the potential to form the foundation for a local, food-sovereignty movement in a food desert by providing vital access to locally grown, organic and culturally appropriate fruits, vegetables and herbs. At the same time, it would educate another generation on resourcefulness, good eating habits, the benefits of sustainable living, cultural celebration and grassroots democratic community building activities through its programs and facilities — in a part of Los Angeles that truly is hungry for change.

The Restoration Committee holds the vision that the Farm could be a regional destination landmark within South Central, akin to the world-famous Watts Towers, welcoming visitors while simultaneously fostering pride and providing a valuable resource for all Angelenos. Imagine the farm restored, along with a revitalized LA River nearby, allowing the earth to breathe and greening LA for us all by producing oxygen, soaking up air polluting gases and mitigating global warming effects in the part of the city with the worst air quality.

Response to the initial phase of this new campaign has been strong with widespread support from respected community organizations and change-makers, including local neighborhood councils, local nonprofits and celebrity advocates like Daryl Hannah, Scottie Thompson, Nicole Richie, Shailene Woodley, Ian Somerhalder, Frances Fisher, Moby, Darby Stanchfield, Malin Ackerman and others.

In addition to signing our Petition, join the conversation online through following @BringBackSCFarm on FacebookInstagram and Twitter. In the coming weeks, we will share community events and powerful opportunities to lend your valuable support. You can reach out to the campaign directly by emailing [email protected].

Authors: Julia Jaye Posin & Linda Piera-Avila

I, Too, Don’t Know What I’m Doing With My Career

“Why Your Moral Compass Is More Important Than Your Career Path” I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that most folks don’t have a long term career plan for themselves. Today, I’m here to tell you, that’s okay. The truth is, your perfect job simply might not yet exist. Maybe the career you want is being built by you, instead […]
Read More

The Solution’s in the Soil: Food for Thought

My first job, ten years old, 6:00 am, meticulously weaving row by row, the satisfying snap and crack sounds rolling one after another, as I loosen the roots from the fertile soil, one by one, revealing the prized carrots. It’s just a few shorts days away from harvest. In my town, we had the cedar […]
Read More

South Central Farm Restoration Committee Rallies to #BuyBackTheFarm

In 2006, the South Central Farm (SCF) was a flourishing oasis in the heart of Los Angeles until bulldozers razed the land, displacing hundreds of farmers and leaving a scar for the local people and the entire city. A decade later, in June of 2016, farmers and supporters formed the South Central Farm Restoration Committee […]
Read More

Have You Been to Jail for Justice?

I went down to Salt Lake City for the Peaceful Uprising Solidarity March in support of Tim DeChristopher.  Tim is responsible for uprooting an illegitimate land auction put on by the Bush administration.  He walked into a room filled with oil company reps and proceeded to bid on 22,000 acres of land thus throwing off […]
Read More
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